Here, in the South, we are a welcoming bunch, and when our friends are in need, we want to help. This hospitality mentality is what brought many of us to sunny Florida. Even when our friends are getting a divorce, they want to help. Though, for our readers going through the divorce process, they may find that help less than helpful, and they may want some advice. Our readers can now forward this article to their well-meaning friends.
Everyone’s journey is different
Most of us going through the divorce process have friends that have gone through it as well. They may not realize that everyone’s divorce journey is different, and what worked for them, may not work for everyone. Rather than trying to shoehorn one’s individualized remedies, just normalize the ups and downs. Be there for both, and let the divorcing friend know that both are okay and part of the healing process.
Be there, but only when needed
Getting through a divorce emotionally is complicated. This means listening to the needs of people going through the process. Sometimes, this means going to the bar, but other times, it means just giving them some time. Ask what is needed, and then give it to them. Keep inviting them to social events, but do not judge them or harass them if they do not go.
Be a shining star
It is very easy to internalize the divorce back-and-forth, which can cause some to lose confidence or become depressed. Be the friend that makes them comfortable and always has positive reinforcement and encouragement. Be complimentary and reinforce their good qualities. Remind them why so many people love them.
Keep making space for them
Even if one going through the process needs to wallow for a while, do not forget them. Keep inviting them out and being a resource. Do not let them fade into the background of one’s life, and conversely, do not fade into the background of their life. Even if they are not ready to start their new life, always make sure they know their friends are there when they are ready to start their next chapter.
For our New Port Richey, Florida, readers going through divorce and their well-intentioned friends, there is light at the end of the divorce tunnel. With kind words and acceptance, we will all be better in our next chapter.